New DRDs On The Block
by wordboy
Summary: A veteran DRD tries to prepare newcomers for the hard times ahead.


"New DRDs On The Block"  
  
Time: Sometime after Fractures  
  
Disclaimer: I didn't create Farscape, didn't create the characters and don't make a plug nickel off of it.  
  
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He looked at the shining yellow bodies and attentive eyestalks arrayed before him and whistled a sigh of disbelief. For a moment, he felt very old.  
  
To the two DRDs behind him, he asked, "Were we ever this young?"  
  
"If we were, I certainly don't remember it," one replied.  
  
Shaking his eyestalks in disbelief, he rolled forward and cleared his vocal synthesizer. "If I may have your attention, please. I'd like to get this briefing underway."  
  
"First, I want to welcome you to Moya. You're the first new batch of DRDs we've had in a while, so expect some of us to be staring at you for a while. Don't take it personally."  
  
"At least we'll acknowledge your existence, unlike the rest of the crew," a voice behind him said.  
  
He glanced back at his companions, his eyestalks twitching in irritation. "Yes," he said. "As you may have heard, even though we are responsible for maintaining the smooth function of this Leviathan, we are the least respected part of the crew."  
  
One of the new DRDs rolled forward. "Excuse me, sir, but we've been hearing stories of some DRDs being assaulted and even killed by members of the crew. Is this true?"  
  
The DRD's eyestalks dropped. He wondered how long it would be before someone mentioned that. "Yes, it's true. Some members of the crew seem to think we're here for them to vent their emotions on. The one you want to really watch out for is the Luxan, D'Argo. Chiana has also taken at least one life. John, Aeryn and Rygel haven't as yet, but keep your eyestalks up at all times."  
  
"Why do they treat us like this, sir?"  
  
"Who can say how the organic mind works? Just keep your wits about you. Oh, and while I think of it, watch out for Jool. She has a scream that will melt your gears."  
  
The DRD began to roll from one side of the compartment to the other. "You all have what it takes to serve onboard this Leviathan. Moya is a fine ship, and Pilot does his best to keep her safe. But we have onboard a Luxan, a Hynerian, a Nebari, an Interon and two Sebaceans…"  
  
"Excuse me, sir, but I heard that John wasn't Sebacean."  
  
"You're right, he's not. He looks just like a Sebacean, so I forget sometimes. John Crichton is actually something called a Human, from a planet called Erp."  
  
The DRD's eyestalks rocked from side to side as he considered what else he should tell the newcomers. There was so much they had to learn, but there was not time to teach them! They would have to learn on the run, and he feared some of them wouldn't survive.  
  
"You will notice that we're armed." The DRD opened the small panel to the right on his eyestalks and his micro-pulse cannon popped up. "We are the last line of defense onboard Moya. Whenever we've had intruders, the crew has taken care of them. Not quickly sometimes, but they have. The only time we've had to draw our weapons was when Moya was pregnant with Talyn. Moya wasn't sure how the crew would react to it, so we were called on to defend the baby. Fortunately, Moya's fears were ungrounded."  
  
The DRD stopped and his tone of voice became somber. "There's a lot I have to tell you, but I don't have time to do it. Three's some major dren heading our way, and the crew's up to their eyebrows in it. Look at the DRD to your left. Now look at the DRD to your right. I guarantee that, half a cycle from now, one of you will not be there."  
  
The DRD's eyestalks lowered. "That's all for now. You'll get your directions directly from Pilot. Sometimes, Moya herself will direct us, and occasionally, the crew will direct us. For the most part, our orders come from Pilot." His eyestalks swept over the new DRDs again. "That's all. Dismissed."  
  
The new DRDs began to roll out of the chamber. One stopped, seemed to think for a microt, then rolled to the front of the chamber. "Excuse me, sir. I have one question before I go."  
  
"Well, now's the time to ask it."  
  
The new DRD looked around. He seemed almost embarrassed as he asked, "Sir, where do DRDs come from?"  
  
The DRD stared at the newcomer. In all his cycles, he'd never heard a DRD ask that question. But here was the newcomer, waiting for an answer. His eyestalks rocked from side to side.  
  
"Go ask Pilot," he said. 


End file.
